1. Under no circumstance will you attempt to usurp power over the radio. The “do not touch” policy will be strictly enforced (usually with a slap), unless you have explicit verbal instruction to alter the music situation.
2. My purse does not get demoted to the backseat just because you’re riding shotgun. Please make room for it…preferably on your lap, but I suppose it would be fine at your feet, too.
3. Please keep hands clean at all times. This is not only for basic purposes of hygiene and self-respect, but also because when I need a piece of gum to improve my coffee breath, you’ll need to not only unwrap it, but feed it to me.
4. Speaking of coffee…frequent Starbucks stops are a given on any type of road trip or travel adventure. No need to even bother suggesting we stop at a Coffee Bean, Peet’s, or other sub-par coffee establishment.
5. I don’t read maps and am severely geographically challenged. Therefore, if we are venturing beyond the outskirts of Orange County, you’ll need to perform all navigational duties and will basically be responsible for reaching our destination. I’m just the driver.
It's not like I'm asking much here...