Sometimes, I'm just not very good at waiting on God. Like being stuck in rush hour traffic, it just seems so...unproductive. I like to get things done. I like checking things off my to-do lists. I don't like the feeling of being stagnant or passive. In this ready-made, insta-everything, 30 minutes or less world, who wants to wait for anything?!
But I was thinking today about Psalm 130: 5-6...
I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
and in his word I put my hope.
My soul waits for the Lord
more than watchmen wait for the morning
more than watchmen wait for the morning.
Watchmen wait with anticipation. Theirs isn't a passive waiting...it is active and expectant and hopeful. No matter how many hours of darkness, they know from experience that the morning will always come. As they wait for the sun to burst onto the horizon to signal the end of their watch, so are we to wait for God.
I'm reading a book that's all about practicing solitude and being silent in God's presence, called Invitation to Solitude and Silence: Experiencing God's Transforming Presence by Ruth Haley Barton, and it's really challenging me. I've realized how impatient I can be. Part of it is because I don't like waiting. I want results. I want resolution. I want answers. I want progress. And I want it asap. I want it now. I want it immediately....
But realizing that waiting on God is an active, engaging activity is a concept I'm constantly being taken back to. Like a watchman, I want my eyes to be practiced at recognizing that first ray of light in the morning sky. I want my whole being to strain to catch that first glimpse of God. I want to position my heart in a way that is ready to encounter him, that is longing and alert and aware of him.
I wait for the LORD, my whole soul yearns and waits...more than watchmen wait for the morning...more than watchmen wait for the morning.