Dumb Wedding Traditions

“How’s the wedding planning going?”

This is the #1 question I have been asked this year.  And it’s hard to succinctly answer.  I mean, my Pinterest boards are awesome.  My dress is perfect.  And my soon-to-be husband is the greatest.  So, overall things are going awesome. 

If we’re talking details, I don’t have anything borrowed, blue, or old.  I don’t know to what degree of transparency I want that little sheet of paper over the invitations to be.  And I really don’t know how I should get my nails done—acrylics?  Gel?  French?  Glitter on my ring finger—too trendy?

One great thing about getting married when you’re thirty is that you have a pretty good idea of what you like and what you don’t like.  I went to a lot of weddings in my twenties, and it’s impossible not to take mental notes of what you want your own day to be like…or what you don’t want it to be like.

Now, don’t get me wrong—I like weddings.  I like dresses and flowers.  I really like cake.  But in the process of planning my own wedding, some traditional wedding customs have come under serious scrutiny.  Tradition cannot be the sole reason to do something, in my opinion.

First, let’s talk about garters.  I can’t think of a less comfortable (or flattering) place for a piece of elastic to go on my body.  Nor do I want it to be thrown to a wolf pack of guys, where it will inevitably be flung around as a sling shot.

Second, wedding favors.  Let me ask you a question, because I’m still torn on this one—do you currently own or even remember any favor from any wedding you have ever been to?  I don’t.  Weddings aren’t like vacations where you need to go home with a souvenir.  Take an Instagram photo and call it a day, right?  I like the idea of something cutesy to pretty up the table…but I’m not sold on anything.

Third, apparently the bride and groom are supposed to give each other gifts before the wedding.  Isn’t marrying me enough?  (Kidding.)  We get new rings, pretty flowers, dress up like we’re fancy royals for a day, and then get to go on vacation together for a week.  Ain’t nobody got time to remember to buy presents on top of all that!

And lastly, smashing cake in each other’s faces.  How did this ever become a thing?  I have already warned Nathan that if he smashes cake in my face on our wedding day, I will not be a happy girl.  I’m spending half a day getting my hair and makeup done and wearing a fancy dress…you better be sure that nary a CRUMB is going to end up on me.

I wouldn’t exactly call myself a non-traditionalist.  Actually, I’m really into holiday and family traditions.  Sometimes it’s good to question things, though, and I’m excited to see how our wedding will reflect our own values.  But give me some ideas—what are your wedding non-negotionables?