Saucy

Why is Honey Roasted Barbecue sauce at Chick-Fil-A given so much special attention? When you come into Chick-Fil-A, you can endlessly grab greedy handfuls of every other tasty dipping sauce, stacked up and stretching across the entire condiment counter in the same manner the slaves of China stacked the stones of the Great Wall. But for some reason you have to ask for the Honey Roasted Barbecue sauce. Why?!

If you were, say, honey mustard (which I will die believing is the finest of all dipping sauces), wouldn’t you feel a little inferior? “Who does that Honey Roasted Barbecue sauce think he is,” you'd ask yourself. The perils of greasy hands and shellshock of sticky put-backs from overzealous guests who overestimated their dipping needs are concerns that are foreign to the Nectar of the Gods, the Honey Roasted Barbecue Sauce.

Even its packaging is different…its arrogance is marked in an easy-squeeze tube. Surely, you would wonder, “Thinks he’s so much better than the rest of us. A little foil-topped container just isn’t good enough for him, huh?” I mean, I just feel bad for the other sauces.

What’s the reason behind this communist-style rationing? Does Honey Roasted Barbecue Sauce contain trace amounts of truffle oil, gold specks, water from the Fountain of Youth? Why embrace the dated ideals of segregation, Chick-Fil-A?

I’m just wondering.