Sunday, December 30, 2007

White Knuckle Christmas

Hey kids! Bored of the same old security checks at airports? Don't you sometimes wish you could yell something like "Fire!" just to get that dead-behind-the-eyes look off people's faces, or do something really crazy like sneak a 4 oz. tube of lotion through security without claiming it? Is your new year's resolution to be a risk-taker? Ready to shake things up?

WELL...just try flying with an expired license! It makes airport security so much more interesting!

My license expired on my birthday, which I didn't realize until I was at John Wayne trying to board a flight to Seattle on the 22nd. Luckily, it didn't raise any eyebrows. I couldn't believe I let my license expire. According to my always-balanced checkbook, I wrote a check to the DMV on October 25th for a license renewal, and never got a new one. Although I made it to Seattle, I was still concerned about flying home. SeaTac is a little more security-happy than John Wayne.

Today in the airport, as we mindlessly shuffled through the security line, licenses in hand (some more valid than others), the security guard took my license. Oh gosh, here it comes. The moment of truth..."Oh, wait one minute, girl. You know this license is expired, right?"

"Yep, the new one's probably sitting in my mailbox at home," I said with a charming smile.

She wrote "SSS" on my boarding pass and told me and my family to follow another security guard through a gate.

Oh, no. The worst-case scenario instantly flew through my head: my family would desert me, I'd have to take a cab back to the grandparents', my parents would have to Fed-Ex my passport to Seattle and somehow get me on a different flight, and I'd eventually make it home sometime next year.

But that's not what happened. My family was just escorted to our own security station to run our bags, shoes, baggies of liquids, and coats through the machines. No hassle, no questions, no waiting.

So, basically, if you don't want to wait in line at the airport, just bring your expired license (and passport, just in case). Works like a charm, a la Disneyland Fastpasses.

It's not like the signs say "Must present VALID government-issued I.D." anyway.'s good to be home!

1 comment:

E.Money said... amazing are you.