Me. Now.

Time to Reflect...

I love TV on DVD. Like, love it. There are no commercials. I get to watch the episodes in order. A Saturday morning marathon of my favorite show always challenges my desire to want to return to civilization or human interaction. I can easily watch a show for hours in my room, alone, with a pink snuggie, perfectly content.

After a morning binge of Grey’s Anatomy one weekend, I had lunch with a friend who mentioned that she had a headache. I immediately diagnosed her in my mind as having a hemorrhage or tumor. I mean, what better person to diagnose her?! I had just come from the operating tables of Seattle Grace Hospital, where I’m doing my residency…

Oh, wait…

It was funny to think that I had attempted to reflect my TV medical knowledge just because I had immersed myself in this world of doctors (not even real doctors!) for hours.

Switching gears, look at what David, a man after God’s own heart, wrote in Psalm 27:4—

One thing I ask of the LORD,
this is what I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
and to seek him in his temple.

I loved this because it made me ask myself why David wanted to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord. That’s what David actively sought. He spent time in God’s presence. He drew upon the truth of the scriptures. He spent time with God. Have you noticed that you reflect the things you pour your time into? Have you ever found your language or habits to be different after hanging out with a certain group of friends? Have you felt your mood change after listening to a certain type of music? Have you ever thought you were a doctor after watching Grey’s Anatomy for four hours?

We reflect the things we pour our time into.

2 Corinthians 3:18 reads: And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the LORDS’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the LORD, who is the spirit.

Our lives, words, and hearts all reflect something. It depends on what we spend our time on, and who we spend our time with. Are you seeking to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord? Do you know him well enough to recognize how beautiful he is?

God is love. He is the source of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control…grace, mercy, justice, security, forgiveness, LIFE…those are the most beautiful things I can think of! What a beautiful God we love, and who loves us! That’s who I want to magnify…that’s whose likeness I want to be transformed into.

My soul magnifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior. Luke 1:46

Michelangelo's Pieta

Art has played a huge role in the way that I think about things, particularly my faith. To me, one of the most interesting things about Jesus were the seemingly mutually exclusive assertions that he was fully God and fully human. Now, how do you portray that in a painting or sculpture? Put yourself in an artist’s shoes…how would you depict someone as both fully man and fully God?

The life of Jesus has completely dominated the subject matter of Christian art from Roman times to the present day. One of the most important works of art in the world is Michelangelo’s Pieta (which I get to visit next month!). While you can find art depicting Jesus in countless ways, Michelangelo’s Pieta focuses on the humanity of Christ, as his lifeless body lays in the hands of his mother, after being taken off the cross.

The sculpture was commissioned in 1498. At that time, Michelangelo was still young and unknown; the Pieta immediately made him famous—in his early twenties (way to kill my self-esteem, Mic)! The sculpture is now in St. Peter’s in Rome.

Look at Mary’s face. It seems much younger than her son’s. Her face is youthful and peaceful, framed by the delicate folds of her robe. She looks timeless, leaning slightly over the lifeless body of Christ. Until the 15th Century, the subject of the pieta was almost exclusively found in northern Europe; the frightening figure of Jesus and Mary, often disfigured in her grief, seemed to distress people attending worship into an awareness of Christ’s sacrifice.

Michelangelo changed this subject completely. He does not emphasize Mary’s grief, but reveals to us a mother accepting fate with a look of spiritual and physical beauty. Michelangelo once wrote, “If life pleases us, death, being made by the hands of the same creator, should not displease us.” That sentiment is reflected in his sculpture. The only slight sign of Mary’s sorrow is her outstretched left hand. Instead of correlating the concept of the Redemption with grief, Mary generates a mood of classical serenity.

The body of Christ is life-sized, but Mary is much larger. If she were to stand, she would be around seven feet tall, although her head is the same size as Christ’s! Part of what makes this composition so astounding is that the unusual proportions go unnoticed by the viewer. The body of the dead Christ displays a keen knowledge of anatomy—the proportions, veins, muscles; the 16th-Century artist Vasari wrote that “No corpse could more completely resemble the dead than does this.” Michelangelo certainly succeeded in depicting in marble a body that reminds believers that Jesus suffered physically and died, that he had the same physical limitations as other humans. It seems that the only thing that one could interpret as divine about this depiction of Christ are his veins—one could interpret the protruding veins as still pumping with life, and therefore giving the viewer a glimpse of hope that Christ will rise again in three days. Though dead, he is still alive, hinting at the fact that this is not an ordinary man. Still, the humanity of Christ is emphasized here—there are no halos, angels, golden heavenly light, or thrones. All the viewer sees is a lifeless body, the body of a frail human, who made his dwelling among the rest of humanity; we also “see” his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth (John 1:14). Colossians 2:9 reads, “For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form…” Michelangelo had an extensive knowledge of anatomy and created the nude figure of Christ in that bodily form, as the very epitome of man—a figure in which there was no need, as he put it, "to make the human disappear behind the divine."

Michelangelo’s Pieta is, in my opinion, the most beautiful sculpture in the world. The serenity on Mary’s face, as she cradles the body of her lifeless son in her arms, is hauntingly beautiful. A work of deep piety, this sculpture reminds me that pain was a condition of redemption, but beauty is one of its consequences. The lucidity of Christ’s body in the lap of Mary reminds me that Christ “poured out his life” and “bore the sin of many.” (Isaiah 53:12) I am reminded of the extent of God’s love, but also the severity of my own sins. I am also reminded that Jesus came to earth, “but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.” (Philippians 2:7) The redemption that Christ offers us is a reality and is available to us, for “it was not merely a finite human, but an infinite God who died.” This masterpiece is so beautiful and unforgettable that for most people, the term “pieta” evokes only the Pieta of St. Peter’s, because of the way that it speaks uniquely to every believer’s heart.

A Prayer

Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

Amen

Look After It

"I put it to William, particularly, that if you find someone you love in life, you must hang on to that love and look after it...You must protect it." --Diana

Sorry, I'm Not Home Right Now...

The other day, I walked through a spider web as I left my house and headed to my car. I dropped my purse and started flailing my arms around and squealing; there's just no way you can attempt to free yourself from the grips of a virtually invisible web of death while keeping your grace and dignity intact. And it wasn't a peaceful, beautiful web inviting you in to admire the sparkling dew drops it caught that morning. No. It was sinister, formidable...it attacked me.

The worst part was that I couldn't find the spider afterward. I hope it didn't end up in my hair. Or my car. Or my purse. Hopefully it's not in my room now...making a web above my bed...

Oh, I hate spiders...

Ti penso ogni giorno

The allure of Italy is holding my heart captive. As the date of my summer trip fast approaches, I daily find myself dreaming about and preparing for my vacation. I've noticed that when I have something like a trip to look forward to, everyday stuff seems a little more bearable in the meantime. Yesterday, for instance, I had crazy back pain, had to get my blood drawn, and capped my day with a four-hour history class. But you know what? “It’s cool…I’m going to Italy!” That heightened sense of anticipation makes Life so much more enjoyable.

I love thinking about what to pack and wear. I love making lists (first in my head, and then typed out) and buying cute little travel-sized items of things I really don’t need. I dream about all the paintings I’m going to cry over and the statues I’ll say hello to, the ancient walls of buildings I’m going to touch, and the dirt in the Coliseum and the Forum that I’m going to rub between my hands. I think about the weather—are the morning hours going to be cool as we sip our daily cappuccinos? Is the day’s heat going to linger into the dark evenings as we stroll through the ancient stone streets? What are all the interesting things I’m going to see and ridiculous things I will laugh at and delicious things I will eat and strange scents I will smell? No matter what I’ve planned, how much I research, or what kind of lists or itineraries I make…I’ll just have to experience Italy’s mystery, variety, newness, history, and amore when I get there.

June 20th…please come soon.

But not too soon. Dreaming is fun, too…

Do Your Homework!

Watson's Drugstore

Check out my latest article in the April issue of The O.C. Gazette, about the history of Watson’s Drugstore and Soda Fountain in Orange. Research for this assignment included lunch with a girlfriend at the counter, noshing on fries and burgers and sharing an Oreo milkshake. Such hard work...

I love the atmosphere of this place. It's such an escape. If you have not been to Watson's, you have not fully actualized life. It’s so fun and delicious.

For all things awesome in Orange County, check out The O.C. Gazette.

God Loves Lady Gaga

A week ago, I saw Lady Gaga in concert with some of my best girlfriends. We got all dressed up in wigs and glitter and were excited for a fun night at the Staples Center in L.A. The show was amazing--Lady Gaga is quite an entertainer. She's extremely talented (in my opinion) and the production was incredible. But it wasn't the yummy dinner or the show or the awesome fake eyelashes or even my wonderful friends that I liked most about the night. I liked that the show, that Lady Gaga, got me thinking...

This concert was a worship experience. The power that music has to move you and create an intense emotional experience is undeniable. That's why music is such a powerful way that Christians connect with the heart of God. I noticed a similar connection at this concert. Lady Gaga said things from the stage like, "Jesus loves everyone," "love yourself," "be who you are," and "you were born this way." And many of her fans just drank up her words and used them to validate their identities and lifestyles. Fans dressed up exactly like her--they wanted to be her. "Paws up!" she would demand, and hands went up...the crowd did whatever she told them.

The interesting thing is that many of the things she said were true...almost. Yeah, be yourself, but how do you know who you are if you don't know who your creator is? Yes, Jesus loves everyone and accepts everyone, but he does not approve of everything that we do. Lady Gaga's message seemed innocent enough, but the danger under the sequined, interesting package that it's wrapped in is that it's more confusing than it is clear. And to talk about Jesus while you're covered in fake blood, dropping eff bombs, and gyrating with your backup dancers is creating a context that, no matter what you say, mocks him.

During the show (which, again, I did enjoy), I asked God to help me sort out my thoughts on things. And I don't know if this next thought came from him, or from me, but right after asking that, the next thought that popped into my head was "God loves her."

God loves Lady Gaga. He sent his son, Jesus Christ, to die for her sins. Mocking Christ is her way of dealing with pain in her life that she doesn't know what to do with. We make fun of the things that we're secretly uncomfortale with, after all; mocking is a way of coping. I haven't done any research on this woman, but I am convinced that she is afraid of, or has been hurt by, the church or something/someone associated with it. People are afraid of her weird antics, frightening costumes, and bloody performances, but I think calling her demon-possessed or the anti-Christ (yep, I've heard these things) is giving her too much credit! Really, I think they are afraid of the affluence and influence that she has that allow her to proclaim her messages of distorted truth. It's her platform of power that they're afraid of. If we looked a little closer, I think we would see a misguided and misled girl trying to make a difference in this world in a way that she knows how, and trying to feel significant and loved. She's a wounded, lost little 25-year-old girl. And weren't we all lost at one point? Isn't that why we all need the grace and wisdom and hope of Christ?

God loves Lady Gaga...his heart breaks for her. And it sounds weird to say, but mine kind of does, too.